People regularly turn conversations into co-rumination: discussing the same problems, over and over again, in a very negative way. A classic example involves friends who obsessively talk about their ex-lovers. They might spend a lot of time and effort mentally going back over every little detail to try and understand the breakups. They may pine over and even criticize the ex-partners. Co-ruminating about exes is typical, but there are also infinite examples of excessive negative problem sharing in the workplace. For instance, co-workers might complain together about customers or other colleagues behind their back. That being said, co-rumination can cause emotional difficulties depending on who you do it with. Specifically, your friend’s emotion regulation strategies (i.e., how they manage their emotions) and the quality of your friendship can determine the kind of support and advice that you receive.
A young boy with freckles named George was in line at a local fair to have his face painted. George had been waiting all day for this moment to come. When it was finally his turn to have his face painted, a girl turned to him and laughed: “You have so many freckles on your face, there’s no room for any paint!” George looked down, his face scrunched up, and his eyes were covered by his hair. He put his hands in his pockets, hunched over, and kicked some dirt.
Can you tell what this boy is feeling? Is he happy? Sad? Jealous? By just reading this short paragraph, you probably could already tell that the boy is disappointed. What’s more, you probably feel disappointed for the boy too!
We’re all going to get older — but how do we cope with the types of stress that occur in old age?
As we get older there are many stressors unique to this period of life, and one common feature is that they are often uncontrollable. Uncontrollable stressors are the types of stressors most likely to trigger a biological response in our body, such as increasing the hormone cortisol. Therefore, learning how to cope with the uncontrollable stressors that occur in aging life is not only going to improve ones’ mental health, but their physical health too.
Was there ever a goal you were determined to achieve? Was there a point in your life where you stopped pursuing one of these goals? What if I told you that sometimes giving up on our goals can be good for our mental and physical health?
We’ve all been told that being able to commit to and persevere in our life goals is the key to success and happiness. But something we don’t talk about enough is being able to adapt our goals throughout life.